Here I Am

I’m here with a lot of joy, and with a lot of excuses and a lot of stress and troubles behind me.

The flowers, and everything that goes with them, are my dream. I just wish I were better at following it, and being the person I’m supposed to be. I often fall short, but I’m learning.

When seedlings die, you figure out why, and try planting seeds differently.

When you leave things untended, you adjust your schedule so it’s easier to get things done.

When you lose a big client, you analyze their message too much, but enough to try and improve your communications.

When you take an accidental three-hour nap during prime planting time… you just have to do it the next day.

It’s been a tough year so far. I took on too much schoolwork, and the baby plants (and my sanity) suffered. Now most of my stuff won’t bloom until far too late for my comfort. But there were a lot of wonderful, beautiful, exciting things that happened, too. And I’ll make do, as I always have. God will clear a path for me,  as He always does.

BUT I have a whole lot of good things coming. Lots and lots and lots of flowers. And colors. AWESOME COLORS.

I’ve been blessed more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you to everyone for supporting me on this crazy journey. I know there’ll be more excuses and stress and troubles… but if I remember that everyone deserves real flowers, and that it’s my duty to provide them, I’ll stay joyful, and I’ll pull through.

Sorry for the melodrama. Things will be nicer to read after this.



  • Cindy

    Several years ago, you were ahead of us in line, greeting our new bishop. I was struck when I heard what you asked him: “What are your joys and your sorrows?” It was a mature and unique comment from a young girl who, now as a young woman, is sharing both her joys and sorrows this platform. I think as life goes on the sorrows can become much greater, but even better is that the joy grows exponentially too. Farming, even farming flowers and maybe especially farming flowers, is a unique lifestyle which allows us to experience joy deeply…but with the understanding that we will also bear the sorrows. One year is drought, but the next year is abundance. And so it has gone for millennia. Is it any wonder that the Bible uses the language of farmers to parallel the spiritual life? (I like the joyful verses best like the Song of Songs, but there are plenty of sorrowful farming verses too.) I thought of this when I saw your photo– gorgeous, joyful, pure-white trillium, but what makes the arrangement speak to me is its companion, the blood-red, bleeding hearts. Joy AND sorrow– the life of those who commit to growing living things which feed us, body and spirit: farmers.

  • Schaeflower

    Thank you for the wise and kind words, Cindy! I do remember that day, and now I will parallel it to the rest of my days in pursuing my flower business.

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